14 January, 2010


It should have been a fun night out. I wanted to go to a Twenty20 Cricket match last night. A few hours of excitement and drama from watching men in their pj's playing irresponsible cricket. What could go wrong? Just about everything.

The evening started well. I thought it would be ok to drive to the Olympic stadium when the match was being played. By taking a sneaky back road we missed all of Sydney's usual 6pm gridlock. If you are familiar with Sydney traffic you will know this is quite an achievement. We were within sight of the stadium and as we reached the top of a hill my heart sank. The last kilometre to the stadium was traffic pandemonium. Nobody was going anywhere.
Lesson No 1: you can never beat Sydney traffic. Until we get really cool hover cars that can fly over peak hour gridlock, Sydneysiders are doomed to spend a large chunk of their lives sitting impatiently in a traffic jam.

I'm stuck in traffic but I refuse to let this ruin my night. “It's ok” I tell myself. “There's lots of time and we are not late yet”. I'm starting to feel a little better when the sky in front of me is split with the perfect bolt of lightening. Several more bolts of lightening and a clap of thunder that is so close it goes right through you and the heavens opens. First the big fat rain drops that you get at the start of the storm. This was followed by a steady downpour that didn't feel like it was going anywhere. Not good for cricket.
Lesson No 2:- when every weather report you look at advises it is going to rain maybe you should actually believe them.

Still stuck in the traffic and watching the downpour, I am still trying to be positive.
“It's ok” I tell myself. “We are now late but the rain will delay the start of the game so we won't miss anything”.
We are inching towards the parking station and things are looking good. I'm sure the rain will clear. Thunderstorms don't hang around too long. For all my many faults, I have great eyesight so I was able to see the “Parking Full” signs long before anybody else.
Lesson No 3:- Check to see if there is anything else on at Homebush before you decide to take a gamble on the parking. If both the Tennis and a concert are on as well maybe rethink your strategy.

The nearest car park is a kilometre away. The same distance we had just crawled through the traffic from hell. We fought our way into the parking stations just as the “Parking Full” sign was going up and grabbed the second last park available. Now for the long up-hill walk back to the stadium.
Lesson No 4 – If you choose to ignore Lesson No 2, take an umbrella.

At last, we arrive at the stadium. I am dripping wet but the rain is easing and it looks like we will get to see a game. Just as we are taking our seats an announcement is made telling us the game had been reduced to nine overs per side. The game had been shortened so much that our travel time to the game has been longer than the actual match. I naively thought that they would reduce the overs a little and extend the finishing time.
Lesson 5: Spectators verses television commitments = Spectators lose

If you go to watch sport, you have to have a hot dog.  We braved the queues to see what we could get. All that was left were hot chips. Chicken burgers would be ready in five minutes if we wanted to wait.
     “That would be the $8 chicken burgers? What do you get in an $8 chicken burger?” I ask.
     “A piece of chicken” was the reply.
     “That's ok, I just have the $5.50 bucket of chips. I'm having to dip into my superannuation for this”
Lesson 6:- You know that the food is overpriced and lousy quality at the stadium. When are you going to learn this one???

I'm cold and wet but finally watching irresponsible action packed cricket. This, however, was the final insult. New South Wales, the team I came to cheer along, were pathetic. They scored the lowest total in the history of the competition. I was witness to a moment of history I could do without.
Lesson 7:- Sport is a commodity than had been designed for television. Stop trying to fight the system and watch it at home in the dry comfort of your lounge room. If the team you are cheering for play the worst game in history, turn off the TV and go to bed


  1. What a fabulous post! I'm almost glad you had such a miserable experience, just so I could read about it. (I said almost, I'm not really that much of a bitch!)