Dumb Things

The Paul Kelly song sums me up so well:

Welcome, strangers, to the show

I'm the one who should be lying low

Saw the knives out, turned my back

Heard the train coming, stayed out on the track

In the middle, in the middle, in the middle of a dream

I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings

I've done all the dumb things

My 2010 Anti-Resolution is a look back at 2009 in the hope that I will not repeat some of the dumb things I did.

Don't change the CD when driving backwards down a steep curved driveway.
My bad. I know I wasn't paying attention. I'm sure it makes me a bad person but, as it wasn't my car that I put a major scratch down the side, I'm not loosing much sleep over this. It was a company car and I figure they expect dumb stuff like this.

My bigger concern was what I used to put the large scratch in the car: My house.
Yes, I managed to side-swipe one of the supporting beams that holds up the deck and the front of the house. Not good.


Select Face Book Friends wisely.
Several times this year I have become FaceBook friends with people I wouldn't recognise if I saw them on the street. I feel guilty about ignoring friend requests. It's feels like having a puppy rush up to you wanting to play and I've slapped it away. Time to harden up and start ignoring people.

There appears to be a rule in FaceBook: he who dies with the most friends wins. That can be the only explanation for these people wanting me as a friend particularly a teenage second cousin who had only met me three times. I'm not even sure we speak the same language because I don't understand anything she says.

I've also noticed that the people FaceBook suggests as friends are the same people you are avoiding like the plague. FaceBook is just messing with me.

Don't try to save money by attempting home veterinarian techniques.

Let me stress here my intentions were noble even if the results were less than satisfactory. One of the cats which have taken over my house (AKA: The Ferals) had got into a fight (again) and come off second best. Like a good pet owner I rushed her off to the vets for repairs thinking this will be simple to fix with a couple stitches and won't cost too much. So very wrong.

After a month with numerous hospital stays, two lots of surgery and many replacement stitches, I had a shaved cat that was rapidly loosing weight. The problem was the Elizabethan Collar she had to wear to stop her from ripping out the stitches (again). I wasn't concerned that the collar messed up her judgement and she would run into doors, walls, chairs, stairs and owners as she walked around. Actually it was kinda funny. (Bad Bad Pet Owner!!) The problem was as she tried to eat anything the collar would scoop all the food out of the bowl and into a little pile in front of her tantalisingly out of her reach. It was pitiful to watch.

The collar had to go but how do I stop her from ripping her stitches out? And that is when the brilliant idea hit me: A body stocking. Cut the ends off an old stocking and shove the cat through the middle. I still maintain the theory was good. The damaged Feral does not agree. She was not happy. Not happy and armed with razor wire for claws. The body stocking was quickly removed when we eventually we managed to catch her.

Don't change the ingredients.
2009 was the year I got into baking in a big way. It was just a phase I was going through and I'm over it now. After trying a recipe a couple times I would get a little creative and change things around. Unfortunately I'm not a very creative person. This resulted in some of the greatest cooking disasters in culinary history. The low point was the patty cakes that turned out like sea sponge when I decided that the world needed much more bicarb soda. I don't even know what bicarb soda does but it seemed like a good idea at the time

Don't tell your boss which orifice he can shove your job in the middle of a financial crisis.

Financial doom and gloom was sweeping the planet, unemployment was ballooning and stock markets were plunging so this must be the perfect time for me to get on my high horse and tell my boss I'm not going to put up with the crap any more.

I walked away from a secure, well paying job with no idea what I was going to do with myself. I always have a plan and a back up plan (I admit sometimes not well thought out) but this time I just walked away.

But is this really one of my dumbest achievements of 2009?
No. It was one of the smartest things I have ever done. I put life before money and I hope I make decisions like this for the rest of my life.

I resolve not to repeat my 2009 list of dumb things. 2010 is the start of a new decade and it deserves a fresh and new list of dumb things and I'm sure I will be able to live up to that challenge.

Welcome to the show!